It is raining.
It has been raining for days. Months.
Remember that one sunny day in May when we got sunburnt? That’s the last time I remember the sun in Northern Ireland.
Anyway, it’s raining again and despite the fact that I know better, I’ve given in to the iPad babysitter because, to be honest, the kids are as bored as me of rainy day activities. There are only so many art projects Spicy Boys will tolerate. We’ve been on some very soggy walks, written stories about Three Zombie Goats Who Got Kicked In The Face (Will) and The Adventures Of The World’s Greatest Future Footballer (Jack, naturally), and talked a lot about swimming in the sea when it actually stops raining, but now we are beside ourselves with boredom.
The joys of being without a car in Miserable, Always Raining, Freezing Northern Ireland. Might sell that to the tourist board as their new slogan.
I’ve been working on my Bucket List as a way to make me feel better about being utterly ashamed that I allowed the words ‘I’m bored’ to even enter my thoughts. How ungrateful. I am a terrible human.
This is my Bucket List - things I am totally planning to do at some point in the next 20 years:
• Go into the wild for a week Bear Grylls style. Oh how I want to do this. I keep watching Into The Wild and feeling ashamed of how cushy my life is. Ok, ok he isn’t the greatest success story but I wouldn’t need to worry about the poisonous plants as I’d make sure I have enough super noodles to do me the week.
• Get all my hairs lasered off. Everyone seems to be doing it these days and I’m sure it would make me a better human.
• Write a book. What about? Who knows or cares?! I love this article by James Altucher: http://www.jamesaltucher.com/2014/02/how-to-write-for-a-living/
You should watch his interview with Chase Jarvis on Creative Live - he is a fascinating person: https://www.creativelive.com/courses/30-days-genius-chase-jarvis
• Move to France. This is my retirement plan. I am going to retire at 55 to the South of France and just lie shrivelling up like a prune in the sun all day. I’ll eat cheese and drink wine and be grumpy when any of my grandchildren come to visit.
• Run away. Not forever, just for a wee while. I totally have Drapetomania. Or maybe it’s my mid-life-crisis. But I would love to do a Shirley Valentine without the Costas or the egg & chips.
I wonder did Costa name their coffee shops after Shirley Valentine’s moustached lover?
• Learn to bake amazing, delicious bread. Sourdough bread, to be precise. Suppose I should get my oven fixed first.
• Make something creatively that I am crazy-proud of. I can’t tell what it will be yet as I am still perusing Pinterest for ideas but it could possibly be some kind of knitted-woodcraft-leather item of extreme beauty.
• Quit Pinterest. Everyone should but you know we won't. We can't help ourselves.
Well, I guess I should go make sure the kids aren't watching tutorials on how to run away from home because your mum is blogging about hair removal and being a Bear Grylls granny. Enjoy the rain and the cold because tomorrow there will be more of the same.